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The Art Of Negotiating
Contrary to what people think, successful negotiating
isn't the result of intimidation, interrogation, inappropriate
use of power or high-pressure gab. It is not about taking
an unfair advantage. It is in fact, ones ability to
find the appropriate time, opportunity, words and consequences
for taking a particular action. Understanding basic
human desires and having a rich background of "making
friends and influencing people" becomes a very incomparable
tool.
Often one uses power, pain, anger and fear to influence
people. One must understand the basic elements of human
nature, people love to win. They love to get their way
and have the final say. People want to be heard. People
want to be understood. People want to be appreciated.
People want to be respected. People do not like to be
controlled or dictated to. People often measure their
self worth on their ability to win and by their ability
to control, so a smart negotiator never looses grip
of the importance of keeping his opponent in good spirits
by feeding and nurturing his needs and hunger. Once
the defenses are dealt with and the resistance dissipated,
one basically has a very cooperative human being to
engage with. The mistake too often is a lack of patience,
a lack of compassion, a lack of empathy and a lack of
care.
To be a good negotiator, one has to be very conscious,
very sensitive and very sympathetic. To listen is the
beginning but to feel and understand with compassion
is an essential ingredient before any further steps
can be taken. People are basically cooperative and giving
when their defenses are down and there is no need to
resist. Always leave something on the table and give
your opponent a feeling they have won. Be appreciative,
non-demanding and open to the "give and take" process.
Look for an opportunity to be generous and to show genuine
care. Realize the power of someone's self worth, self-esteem
and their commitment to basic values and with that a
good negotiation proceeds with total integrity and without
expectations. Today your most successful negotiators
spend more time listening and asking qualifying questions
than catching people at a weak moment and fast talking
them into a corner.
~~ This article was written by Ron Wynn - 8/2000 ~~
Copyright© Ron Wynn 2000
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